Here I am pictured on my family's weed farm. Despite my Grandmother's prize winning dandelions the farm did not prosper, and by the time I was born they could only afford to give me one eyeball.  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Back in the mid-sixties my siblings and I formed a popular singing group called Rinky-Dink and the Doinks (you may recall our chart-topping hit, Flibby Dibby Ducky-Do). Our growing popularity with screaming teenage girls didn't escape the notice of the music industry and we were soon offered a recording deal with a major U.S. company. Unfortunately, before we could sign our contract, a rival singing group known as The Osmond Brothers challenged us to a battle royal to see who would reign supreme in the musical genre of the singing families. We accepted their challenge, and on the night of June 18, 1965, we faced off in Madison Square Garden. Little did we realize there are over 400 Osmond brothers, and as wave after wave of maniacal mormons poured into the ring, their massive Osmond teeth bared in animal fury, we knew we were done for, and while we put up one hell of a fight it wasn't long before we were overpowered. Blamed by society for inflicting the Osmonds on an unsuspecting public our once promising music career lay in ruins and we soon became little more than a footnote in entertainment history.  
 
 
 
 
Well, that's about it for now. I'll post a more indepth profile sometime in the future.