You will find here a few poems, sayings, pledges and other humours things related to emergency services, mainly in the prehospital care area.
Us, the willing
Led by the unknowing
Are doing the impossible
For the ungreatful
We have been doing it for so long
With so little
That we are now qualified to do anything
With nothing
1. Assume all physicians on scene are proctologists until proven otherwise.
2. In light of rule No.1, never, ever turn your back on a physician on a scene.
3. Approximately 98% of physicians volunteering assistance are intoxicated, don't really want to volunteer in the first place, but are afraid of looking bad in front of their spouses and friends, who naturally expect them to offer assistance.
4. In light of rule No.3, invite them to help in some harmless but important-seeming activity. Run an ECG strip and ask them to " interpret " it, or hand them a spare stethoscope and ask them to " assess breath sounds ". Give them a face-saving way out.
Rule 5 from Barney
If the physician is really starting to annoy you or interferes with treatment protocols, advise him/her that they must accompany the patient to the receiving hospital, in the ambulance. Allow them to advise their family and friends to which hospital the ambulance is going to. Then enroute ( code 3 ) ( 10-30) change your destination.
" Bad planning on your part does not constitute an Automatic Emergency on my part. "
The DARWIN AWARDS commemorate those who made the ultimate sacrifice by eliminating themselves from the species in an extraordinarily novel fashion, thereby improving ou genetic pool. These are not suicides, just stupid people doing stupid things.
The official web site of the DARWIN AWARDS
Another web site on the DARWIN AWARDS and urban legends..
Instructor-student translator, or what the instructor really means
Jerry's Emergency Medical Humour pages
Updated on 24 February 1999
